Wednesday, April 18, 2012

God! I am so hopeless.

What have I been doing? Why do I lead my life into this? Why do I deserve all these things since the first place? I never expect to get any scholarship; I never expect that anybody would love me. Now, at this point, I really really sad, too sad to describe. Who can I tell my problems too? I tried many things, but I never work out anything. Since the beginning, I am stupid, I am useless, I never deserve anything good like this. And now I have to be responsible for these things.

God, why don't you help me right now? I feel so down. Why you just look at me from the distance? The girl that I love already leave me for someone better, my exam score are getting worse, I become more and more lazy. People around me are becoming successful while i'm still same or getting worse.

I cry almost everyday, i couldn't sleep at night, i couldn't focus on my studying, I keep hanging out, sleeping too much, watching this and that. I don't know how long can I take this anymore.

Why can't I just be born as a billionair so that I don't have any responsibility and I can do anything that I want to do? Why do I have to be born and face life which is so suffering like this?

The exam is coming in the 2 hours and now I really have no idea at all what I am going to write in there. This is the first time that I declare my defeat because I really can't study at all.

I'm so sorry dad, mum, brothers, sisters, nephews, nieces, friends. I'm not your good son, sibling, and uncle, friend. I have no brain to think. I really make you all down. Nobody can force me to do anything, even myself.
What the hell is this? Why am I becoming like this??

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